Keynote speaker and personal development coach Loren Lahav isn’t taking your excuses. A little bit punch-in-the-arm and a little bit kick-in-the-tush, she’s not afraid to lift up those around her and inspire them to pursue their dreams.
She believes foundational relationships and daily actions that promote movement are a large part of achieving dreams. And she says to keep your relationships healthy means you care for the people on your team on good days when things are easy and the money is flowing, and on bad days when you have to push away any excuses.
Here are five key beliefs for better relationships and more success:
Love and be loved
She believes there are only two reasons that we are put on this earth—to love and be loved. And she feels that taking care of the people around you is the right thing to do and that it creates bonds of friendship and camaraderie we all require to succeed—both personally and professionally—in life.
Don’t give in to “villains of dreams”
Yet we all create buffers between ourselves and our dreams when we’re stressed, fatigued, or just not in the mood. Those buffers often come in the form of excuses such as “I don’t have enough money” or “I don’t have the time right now,” or “I don’t have the right contacts.” If you’re using any of these defenses, then she says you’re giving in to the “villains of dreams.”
Show up every day
Instead, Lahav says you need to show up every day—for yourself, your team and anyone else who is counting on you. Setbacks, disappointments, and turn-of-events are inevitable aspects of business and life, but they shouldn’t be used as an excuse. Indeed, showing up when it’s difficult is the right thing to do; that’s when those who rely on you learn to put their faith in you and trust your abilities.
Use “I AM” statements
One way that Lahav guarantees that she shows up is by taking her power back from any situation where she might have lost some of her control. That might come in the form of disapproving loved ones or an unhealthy work environment.
To do that she uses “I am” statements and she calls the practice her “premium fuel” for the day. Some of the words that she uses for herself are caring, authenticity and tenacity, but the words you choose should always be individually tailored to your own strengths.
Find your superhero attributes
An idea that she uses is of building out the traits of your own superhero character and then applying those words into daily “I am” statements. What attributes would you like to have as a superhero? Can you find “I am” words that would help you recognize and affirm those characteristics yourself?
Lahav encourages this exercise to help you manage what you believe about yourself regardless of outside feedback from people or your environment that may cloud your vision of what’s possible. For example, if you believe you are strong and resilient to setbacks, you’ll likely try again. And again, and again. And she says that consistent effort, coupled with hunger and vision, truly does give people superhero results.
Carolina Starin is a reporter, storyteller, and television, radio and podcast producer. Her varied work has been seen on CNN, The Wall Street Journal, Medium, KCRW and The Moscow Times. She holds a master’s in international business policy from Columbia University.